Should I stay or should I go

The day you try to change it all..........

So bloggin, huh? Weird.... You write down your thoughts for everyone in the world to see. Private ones though. It seems like you dont care, cause no one will read them anyways, but then again maybe people do. I m just feeling blue today and I have a moment of weakness I guess, So I ll just do it anyways ;P

So yes. Right now I m at the crossroads. Should I stay or should I go (job). Well I should definately test the market and see whats out there, but then I dont have the motivation to do so.
well I guess I ll have a couple of weeks to think about it, as I m currently employed, even though pay sucks ;P

Should I stay or should I go (relationships). I m not in a relationship, but I m torn between comitting or holding back. I want to but then on the other hand I m scared. I dont wanna hurt anyone ever again and I dont wanna be hurt either. The problem is I m not even sure I ve I ll ever be ready for one. well again I might have time to think about it over and over again. I just dont want to kind of fall into one, as that has happened before, where i didnt really want a relationship, but because i felt lonely i just pursued someone. So yes I ll try to be strong and not fall for anything like that.

Should I stay or should I go (friends). I ve been out of touch with a lot of friends. I ve tried to reconnect with a couple and its actually really nice to see them or at least hear from them. then its hard to keep in touch with all of them cause its so many and I m busy a lot of times.

Should I stay or should I go (baseball). Well its not really about going here...but I m thinkin if i should step down from all my responsibilities, cause they ve taken a high toll on me, personally, emotionally and physically. And I m really burned out about it. I have small things to do now, as its the off-season and I cant seem to finish all of it off. Well it might be better once the season gets around. It was good to have practice last weekend and see some of the guys, even though not a lot showed up, but what do you expect ;)

Should I stay or should I go (family). I m 28 years, about to turn 29 and still livin at home. Yes its the comfort, its the lack of salary (even though i could probably easily live some place), but i might have to drop some luxuary and i m home alone all the time anyways. I guess thats part of why i havent moved out. Sometimes its good to have people around, even though they seem like strangers to me and i dont talk to them really. but at least they are there. Still I should be movin out.

So thats just some random thoughts going through my head. of course there is plenty more....

losing friends.....
losing family......
losing my job....
having a crash.....
health getting worse.....
being lonely.....
being all alone when i m old.....
hurting people......
being taken advantage of and hurt..



oh my this blog has been way to depressive. i promise to make it more upbeat next time, after all i should be enjoyin the moments in life that make me smile =)